Afraid of Losing You
It was almost dark outside when Ian and Melanie were finished with their drinks. Melanie ordered cocktails for them, insisting she would pay. The music in the bar got louder and people slowly began to dance in the corners. Melanie also began to bounce to the music a bit. But the only thing Ian could think about was when he would return home. ‘I am such a party pooper,’ Ian thought, smirking.
“I better leave, Mel,” Ian said loudly to Melanie, to be heard over the music.
“But wait! I wanted to order two shots for us!” And before Ian could stop her she already got the attention of the bartender. Ian could only grin.
“You are enjoying it here, aren’t you?”
“Uh huh,” Melanie said and laughed. She took the shots from the bartender and gave one of the cups to Ian. When Melanie was about to grab her wallet, her bag slipped out of her hands. “Shit!”
“Don’t worry, I’ll get it.” Ian offered. He jumped out of the stool and bended over. Melanie used this as her chance. She hovered the transparent flask, which she already got out of her bag, above Ian’s cup and poured it into his drink.
“So,” Ian panted and he rose up and plopped the bag on the bar.
“Thank you Ian,” Melanie said with her most innocent smile. They raised their glasses and gulped it down.
“I love how it burns,” Ian smirked.
“Silly,” Melanie giggled.
Eventually Melanie ordered another round, which the young adults both gulped down happily. Ian felt how the alcohol spread through his body and made him a bit drowsy. It occurred to him how fast this went to work, but he blamed it on that it was a long time since he had a drink.
“It was nice hanging out with you Mel, but I really gotta go.” He hadn’t forgotten about his boyfriend while pleasing Melanie. He only tried to be nice to her and let her have a good time being here not so often in Sacramento. He began to worry about Anthony, who was home alone all these hours, probably still in his room, behind his desk, not even having eaten yet.
“Is Anthony waiting for you?” Melanie asked. “Why don’t you invite him over?”
“Well…” Ian vaguely reminded himself that he had already made a promise to Anthony, but the alcohol made it hard for him to even remember what he did an hour ago. And the loud music didn’t make it easier.
“Ian?” Melanie smirked and clicked with her fingers in front of his face.
“Ehm… yeah.” Ian shook his head. “It looks like the alcohol works good on me,” he laughed faintly. He reached to his pocket for his mobile, that wasn’t there. “What?”
“What’s wrong?” Melanie asked.
“My phone…” Ian touched all his pockets and even his shirt. “I lost it! How can this happen?”
“Wow calm down,” Melanie giggled. The stool was moving by Ian’s movements and she held his arm before he fell down. “Where have you seen it the last time?”
“I don’t know!” Ian started to panic. Not only because he doesn’t have his phone anymore, but there was something wrong with him. At the moment, he was having a hard time seeing. It was like his eyesight dropped majorly, and all the objects began to spin around him. He couldn’t count the bottles behind the bar. He felt himself getting numb. He didn’t even notice that Melanie was rubbing his arm.
“Don’t worry. If you’re afraid that Anthony forgets you, he didn’t.”
“What do you…?” Ian saw in front his eyes his phone swinging side to side, in Melanie’s hand.
“This thing was constantly vibrating! How would your boyfriend be feeling now that he didn’t receive anything from you?”
Everything happened in a daze. Ian felt himself falling while Melanie still held his arm. Her other hand was still swinging his phone.
“What is it Ian? Are you feeling dizzy, sick? Remarkable what a little sip can do to you.”
‘She drugged me.’ Ian was fully aware of his situation, but was too far away to do something. Melanie had him under control. She leaned in, her long hair covered half of her face.
“Why did you have to leave me,” she whispered in his. Ian looked at her faintly, and saw her expression that contained pure hatred. And before he could do something, she kissed him full on the mouth.
Ian froze. He felt Melanie’s lips pushing hard against his. She licks his lips and her hand was tangled in his. She moaned. “I’ve missed this so much,” she whispered.
Ian had no idea why he closed his eyes. It was like it was all a dream, like it didn’t cared. He let himself be leaded by the warm Melanie, who in the meantime loosened the zipper of his vest.
Melanie’s eyes flashed to the exit door and grinned. Ian followed her gaze and his heart stopped.
Anthony stood there quietly, gasping and bewildered watching the scene before him. His face was red and he panted a bit, probably after running the whole way from his house. His gaze went from Ian to Melanie who still sat in the same position.
Ian blinked. He woke up from his unconscious state and broke the kiss. “Anthony!”
Anthony’s big eyes began to tremble, his expression was filled with hurt. A tear fell on the floor. He staggered back while shaking his head and eventually ran away.
“Wait!” Ian screamed to him. He wanted to jump off the stool but Melanie, whose hand was still holding Ian’s, stopped him.
“Why would you still follow him?” she sneered. “Stay with me Ian, come back to me.” She now held him with two hands and leaned in a bit. She rubbed with her fingers his arm and now looked almost pleadingly to him.
“What?” Ian didn’t understand her actions at all. “Why are you doing this? W – why do you want me back so bad? And what the fuck have you given me?!”
“Oh this was all necessary,” Melanie said while looking at Ian’s glass. “This was all so you would cooperate with our plan.”
“Our?” Ian was now grabbing the bar for support. Everything was spinning.
“Me and Kalel,” Melanie answered. “We both disagreed of course when you two decided to dump us. I mean, how many times can you have a relationship with someone this famous?”
Melanie weakened her grip so that Ian could stand. “Bitch.” He withheld himself from punching her in the face. He shook his head and ran out the café, leaving Melanie alone. When he was outside, he saw Kalel standing beside the door, playing with her phone.
“Where is Anthony?” Ian said directly with an angry tone.
Kalel looked up. A fake smile appeared on her face. “Well hello Ian! How do you feel? Strong stuff right?”
“Cut the crap!” Ian walked towards her. His numbness was gone, but he was now shaking and his head began to hurt. He clenched his fists and gritted his teeth. He already hated Kalel for a few months, but now she set his blood boiling.
“You mean your so-called boyfriend? He ran to the park.” Kalel didn’t feel belittled by Ian’s posture. On the contrary, she kept smiling at him. “I just spoke to him by the way. The poor darling was in tears because of you. How could you do that to him Ian? I told him already your love was fake – “
Ian’s fist shot out of nothing upwards and hit Kalel’s face hard. She fell down and stayed there with her hand on her cheek. “Why the fuck did you do that?” she screamed.
“Sorry, not hitting two bitches is just too hard for me,” Ian said casually. He turned and ran to the park, not regretting what he just did.
Ian sought dizzily for Anthony while running through the park. But he quickly had to stop to lean on a tree to catch his breath. The drug felt like poison that ran through his body. Sickly he wiped off the sweat from his forehead. He had the idea in the back of his mind that this wouldn’t end well, but his biggest problem now was finding Anthony. He eventually reached the fountain where he found Melanie. His script and pen were still lying next to it. But past the open space he saw a figure standing under a tree.
“Anthony!” Ian screamed. Anthony looked up, tears streaming down his cheeks when he blinked. He looked lost, defeated in the dark shadow where he was standing. His wet eyes were glistening in the moonlight that poked out between the leaves. Anthony always appeared as a strong person from Ian’s vision, but at this moment he looked vulnerable and weak.
“Go away Ian,” Anthony murmured. He turned his back and attached to the big tree for support.
“Anthony, it’s not what it looked like,” Ian blurted out. It was the best thing he could say at the moment. He had no idea how to explain this now that he felt numb and dizzy. But the thing he wanted now was for Anthony to look at him and to stop breaking his heart.
“It’s alright Ian,” Anthony said, tired. “Go back to Melanie and leave me alone.”
“But I don’t love Melanie! I love you!” Ian became desperate. Anthony looked worse than expected. “I never wanted this to happen and you know – ”
Ian’s legs buckled and he sank to his knees. His hand shot to his head that suddenly began to pound hard. His vision began to blur and his body screamed for rest. It seemed that the drug began to backfire. Ian practically pulled out his hair on his head. The pain has reached the highest level. He squinted his eyes and gritted his teeth.
Anthony didn’t notice this at all, too deep in the darkness to even care about someone else’s feelings. “You’re lying Ian.”
“Fuck,” Ian whispered. His whole body was pounding and he slowly cringed.
“No one loves me. Everyone is lying to me. I trusted you Ian. How can you break my heart like this?” Anthony raised his voice. He had his fists clenched and he wiped away his tears with his sleeve.
“I have never…” It was hard for Ian to speak in a normal tone. His head could break at any moment.
“I even loved you!” Anthony screamed.
Anthony turned and saw the body of Ian like a ball lying on the grass. Like being hit on the face, he got out of his miserable state and ran to Ian. Anthony let himself fall next to him and caught Ian up in his arms. Both Ian’s hands were clenching his head.
“What’s the matter?!” Anthony asked with a cracked voice.
“The drug…” Ian panted. He couldn’t take it anymore and screamed out of pain. Anthony held one of his hands, and his was immediately squeezed painfully.
“Hang on Ian,” Anthony said, scared. He grabbed his phone and dialed a number. The face of a frightened Anthony was the last thing Ian saw before darkness overtook him.
Ian slightly opened his eyes and only saw whiteness. When his eyes adjusted he saw he lay on a bed in the hospital. The pain he had felt was gone. He heard someone breathing and saw Anthony sitting on chair next to his bed. His hands were on his lap. He fiddled with his keys. His head was lowered and he was sobbing.
“Anthony…?” Ian whispered concerned. Anthony looked up with open mouth. His eyes were filling up with tears and he dropped his keys.
“Ian,” he sobbed. He stood up and embraced Ian. He cried loudly and his tears damped on Ian’s hospital shirt. He attached himself on him and Ian froze for a second. He then embraced Anthony tighter and rubbed Anthony’s shaking back.
“It is alright,” Ian whispered to him. He also felt the tears welling up. He grabbed Anthony’s shoulders and looked at his wet face. He kissed his salty lips and felt his body getting stronger. They melted in the kiss, it healed their wounds and softened the pain. They broke the kiss for oxygen, Ian was panting because of his weak state. Anthony laughed his genuine laugh, something that Ian had missed a lot.
Anthony sat back in the chair, one arm stretched to hold Ian’s hand. He told him what he heard from the doctors, who weren’t here because it was 3 AM and Ian’s state is stable. Ian has gotten overdoses of a drug that affected his nerves. If he wouldn’t be going to the hospital soon he could’ve be paralyzed or dead. In the last word Anthony swallowed and a tear escaped his eyes. Ian rubbed his hand.
“And the worst is,” Anthony continued hoarsely. “That this is all my fault.”
“I was the one who went with Melanie,” Ian tried to lighten up the mood.
“If I wasn’t so absent to you, this wouldn’t have happened,” Anthony went on and looked on the ground. “I should’ve been there for you, shouldn’t had ran away, I should – Ouch!”
Ian pinched hard in Anthony’s big hand. “Are you finished, you douche nugget?” he said with a loud voice. He had enough of Anthony’s suffering and self-pity. He didn’t understand how perfect he was for him. “You are everything to me, Ant. We both made mistakes, but that only makes our relationship stronger. We are there for each other, whatever happens.”
Anthony looked like he got slapped in the face. He stared at Ian, who had a big smile on his face. Anthony sniffed and blushed.
“Sorry Ian,” he murmured blushing.
Ian spread his arms. “Hug?”
Anthony grinned and jumped next to Ian on the bed. They lay in each other’s arms for a while, their breathing relaxing the other.
“How did you actually find me?” Ian broke the silence.
“I can track your mobile, installed that when you weren’t looking.” Anthony grinned on Ian’s shoulder.
“You love it.”
Title: Afraid of Losing You
Pairings: Ian/Anthony, Ian/Melanie
Genre: Fluff, Angst
Warnings: Drinking, drugs
Summary: After some problems with Anthony's last girlfriend Kalel, he and Ian are now living happily together. But Kalel comes back for revenge, and will do anything to break them up.
Author's Notes: My first one-shot of Smosh! I took way too long to write this. And I am almost shitting my pants for actually uploading it here… Please don’t hurt me~
Previous Chapters: One-Shot
Part: one, two
It was a beautiful day in Sacramento. The sun was shining, the sky was light blue and there was a warm breeze in the air. It wasn’t too warm, so most people used this day to enjoy outside activities and to take the kids out before the very hot days were coming back. But this carefree life in the summer didn’t count for the two boys of Smosh.
One of the boys, Ian Hecox, sat on the couch and dozed off. The door to the backyard was open, and the air of the warm weather made him sleepy. He was making a script for the new video and fell half asleep while thinking for the beginning of first scene. The script lay on his knees and the pen was still open in his hand. His head was leaning against his own shoulder. Despite still being awake and hearing the little voice in his head saying he had to finish what he started, his eyes felt heavy and the atmosphere only helped his drowsiness.
He sat in this position for a while without knowing that his best friend (and lover) Anthony Padilla was sitting next to him. He was leaning on the side and gazed at his friend as he kept slipping back to the world of dreams.
At one point, Ian felt someone’s presence very close to him. He opened his eyes a bit and looked directly into Anthony’s eyes. Ian cried out. He wildly waved his arms like a ninja, causing his pen to fly across the room and the script to fall to the rug.
“Fuck, Anthony! You almost gave me a heart attack!” Ian shouted out.
Anthony laughed his well-known laugh and lowered his head to his arm. “Sorry, but you were laying here so quietly, I didn’t want to wake you up.”
“So you just quietly sat here and stared at me?” Ian questioned a bit sarcastically.
Anthony nodded. He had a big smile on his face and his eyes radiated a warm feeling over him, exactly the opposite of Ian’s icy eyes.
“I’ve counted all your summer freckles. You are so cute with them,” Anthony said casually, his eyes still fixed on Ian.
Ian felt himself blush. “Creeper,” he murmured, caught off guard. He wanted to grab his script and hide his face, but he got pushed on his back by Anthony’s strong arms that held his arms. He was on top of the startled Ian and grinned.
“And now that you’re awake, I can see your eyes,” Anthony said softly.
Ian frowned. He didn’t get why Anthony was so clingy all of the sudden, but he didn’t hear any jokes or lies in his words. Ian felt butterflies and had the urge to kiss Anthony’s red lips, but he acted as if Anthony’s words didn’t mean anything to him.
“What’s with my eyes?” Ian said nonchalant. He tried to look past Anthony’s warm gaze.
“They are perfect,” Anthony whispered. He leaned in closer and Ian was forced to look at him. “You are perfect.” Anthony’s lips touched Ian’s and Ian’s body was pumping with electric shock. Every sense became ten times stronger and Ian tried not to push against Anthony to deepen the kiss.
After a few seconds, Anthony broke the kiss. Ian slowly opened his eyes and missed the warm body immediately.
“Anthony – “ Ian began, but Anthony leaned in again and kissed his neck. Ian gasped while Anthony’s tongue licked the crook of his neck to his ear. Ian softly kissed Anthony’s temple and pinched his hand.
“Anthony,” Ian began again, this time while grinning to his boyfriend. “What’s wrong with you? Is it the nice weather?”
Anthony stopped and his face hovered above Ian’s, their noses almost touching. For one second, Ian saw a strike of sadness in his expression, but Anthony quickly covered that up with a smile.
“I’m just glad that you’re with me.”
At that moment, Ian understood it all. “You’re thinking of Kalel, aren’t you.” It wasn’t a question.
Anthony was quiet, and with almost a yearning look he stared in Ian’s blue eyes. He jumped off him and kneeled next to the couch where Ian was still lying. He faced the ground. His warm eyes lost the battle to the sadness.
Ian looked concerned. It didn’t surprise him that Anthony hadn’t forgotten the cold words of his ex-girlfriend.
“Forget that bitch! You have me now.” Ian laid a finger under Anthony’s chin and looked lovingly to him. “Though I hope that I grant all your wishes.”
Ian smiled brightly, triggering a little smile on Anthony’s soft lips. Ian fixed his bangs and leaned in for a passionate kiss. Their lips matched perfectly together.
“Thanks Ian,” Anthony said after the kiss. “I know I shouldn’t think about this but…” He sighed deeply. Ian tried to say something to cheer him up, but before he could he stood up. “I’m going back to the computer.”
“Hey,” Ian said tentatively and held his hand to stop Anthony from leaving. “Shall we do something tonight? We can go out, or watch a movie. Take a break from it all.”
Anthony nodded. There was a small smile on his face, but Ian could clearly see the sadness and pain in his expression. He pinched Ian’s hand and left the room.
Ian sighed. ‘I better leave him alone,’ he thought. He grabbed his script, sat back and continued staring at the blank paper, not feeling the need to search for his pen.
Ian thought back to when he broke up with Melanie half a year back. She took that well, even after she heard the reason. Ian honestly told her he was gay, and that he’s with Anthony. He hadn’t seen her since then, but they still have contact on the Internet.
In the time of his break up, Anthony hadn’t told to his girlfriend Kalel yet he and Ian were dating. Ian eventually convinced him and 2 months later, Anthony found the courage to tell her. But since then, Anthony acted differently.
“Kalel,” Anthony began slowly. “I am gay, how many times do I have to tell you?”
“You are not gay,” Kalel sneered. “You are not seriously telling me that this is the reason you don’t want to have a relationship with me.”
“I’m telling you the truth!” Anthony said quickly.
“S – so what, are you with Ian now?” Kalel’s anger made her stutter. She had her arms crossed and evaded Anthony’s gaze.
“I’m sorry that I’m throwing this all at you.” Anthony walked closer to her. He straightened his arms to her, hoping she would calm down.
“He doesn’t love you.”
“What?” Anthony frowned.
Kalel hit his arms away and looked furious. Anthony was bewildered and didn’t move.
“Do you really think Ian loves you? He still has lots of contact with Melanie and they see each other all the time behind your back. He’s only getting close to you ‘cause you work together.”
Anthony was astonished. “Where do you get this idea?”
“Isn’t it obvious!” she hissed. “Do you think he seriously cares about you? Or that anyone cares about you?”
He froze. Anthony opened his mouth to retort, but he let himself sink deeper in the words of the girlfriend he used to love. It stung.
“Only I love you Anthony,” she said with a sweet voice. She shuffled to Anthony, who stood numbly and held his hands. “No one will love you more if you leave me. They lie, Ant, and deep down you know that. They will only go for your looks, not for your true self.”
She stood on her toes and her lips almost touched his skin. She continued to whisper in his ears. “You are alone baby. You can only love me because my love is real for you. Ian doesn’t care about you, he said that to me. He doesn’t like men, and he likes you the least.”
Kalel grinned. Anthony stared at her cold eyes. After a few seconds he staggered back, pushed her hands off him and walked away.
“Hey Anthony,” Ian said while he knocked on his friend’s room door. He heard him growl and let himself in. Anthony sat his chair and looked absentmindedly around the room. The computer was still paused at the login screen. Ian bit his lip, unsure of what to do. Eventually he made a smile appear and jumped to his boyfriend. He leaned his arms on Anthony’s head.
“I’m going Ant, to the park or something to get ideas.” He found out that when he was outside, the scenery of trees and green grass always helped his imagination to work. Anthony blinked and nodded.
“’Kay,” he said hoarsely. “Will you be back soon?”
Anthony turned and looked at Ian with his puppy eyes. Ian felt his heart jump. He wished he could stay with him and give all the attention he wanted. But he was busy with this script for days and it had to be done.
“I promise,” he finally said and gave Anthony a peck. He rubbed his lightly red cheeks to comfort him and walked out of the room. He grabbed his script and a new pen and skipped out of the house to be in the park as fast as he could, with the plan to be finished with writing and back with Anthony.
When Ian has reached the park, he immediately noticed how much more crowded it was. All the benches where he used to sit were taken by elders or parent who watched their children run and scream through the park. Ian smiled warmly. He thought of the future. Maybe he and Anthony would also end happily like the elderly couples who sat hand in hand.
Ian decided to sit by the fountain. He didn’t have to wait long for the ideas to flow through his mind. He clicked the pen and was about the write when he heard someone calling his name.
Ian looked up and saw to his surprise someone he knew very well walking up to him.
“Melanie?” he brought out.
Melanie waved and laughed. Her long blonde hair fell over her shoulders, waving in the wind as she ran to him.
“Hi Ian!” she said cheerfully when she stood by him. She hugged him, which caught Ian off guard. He awkwardly hugged her back.
“Wow Mel, what are you doing here?” Ian asked when they let go.
“I was just back from Kalel and she told me I had to come here for some good pictures,” she said. Ian remembered how many times Melanie wanted to take pictures of some beautiful scenery. She never wanted to be in the shot so Ian mostly played as model. Not that it bothered him, he liked the attention.
“Then what a coincidence you found me here! It has been such a long time since we saw each other,” Ian said.
“Yeah, right?” Melanie agreed.
The two walked through the park together, talking about how they were and what they are doing. Ian noticed how cheerful and happy Melanie was to see him again. After the whole Kalel situation, Ian was relieved that there were also people who could take this well.
Ian hoped Anthony had someone like Melanie. Ian wouldn’t know how he would feel like if someone you once loved told you these hateful words.
Ian withhold his thoughts as he had this conversation with Melanie. He knew she and Kalel were good friends, but he had to discuss this another time.
“Shall we drink something?”
“Hm, what?” Ian said hazy.
The sky had already begun to glimmer with the setting sun. Ian didn’t notice they walked out of the park. They’ve reached downtown. Melanie pointed a café where they played music.
“What time is it?” Ian scratched his head. “I promised Anthony to be home soon…”
“Ah come on Ian! I’m not planning to go home yet.” Melanie poked Ian’s side with her elbow. “I’ve got so much to tell! Please, just one drink.”
With begging eyes Melanie looked at Ian. Ian didn’t know what to do.
“I could stay for a bit and – “ he thought out loud, but got cut off by a tug at his arm.
“Well come on then!” Melanie laughed. She pulled Ian’s arm and practically dragged him along the road to the café. Ian wanted to protest. He obviously would rather to be with Anthony and to finally begin with the script. But he felt bad to say no to a very happy Melanie.
Ian opened the entrance door and beckoned to Melanie to enter first.
“Go ahead, I have to check my make-up really quick.”
“Outside?” Ian frowned.
Melanie waved Ian to leave and smiled. Ian shrugged and walked inside while Melanie searched in her bag. She abruptly stopped when Ian was gone and looked narrowly gazed around. She then stopped her eyes to someone. A woman with dark green hair leaned mindlessly to a wall and stood up. She slowly walked to Melanie’s direction with her head down. She pulled from her jacket pocket a flask that contained a transparent liquid.
“Use everything?” Melanie muttered when the woman. The woman bared her teeth.
“Everything,” Kalel said with a devilish smile.